Tell me it's all going to be ok....

I am most worried about the end of this month. We go on vacation to the Outer Banks. Why am I worried about going there and being on vacation? Three reasons: I feel bad about taking a whole week off (mind you I haven't done this since we got married two years ago), Joe doesn't get paid while he's off for the 5 workdays, and I always worry about money- especially the gas prices although they seem to be going down.

I know I need a break and some time away but it wouldn't be so hard if it weren't later in the season. People usually take their vacations in the summer (most of the time). I've never been down in the Outer Banks this late. Plus I usually transition slowly into the Fall season but I still need to keep some summer stuff out. I just hope I can relax and rejuvenate.

I worry about money that we won't have enough saved. Joe doesn't get paid for that week and that is when our highest bills are due- personal loan and rent. I guess it's a good thing we don't have a house yet.

Just tell me everything will be ok. That God will provide and I'm worried about this too much. I'm just scared that's all.

Also I cried not bawling but cried and just let go of my emotions and told DH that I hate living away from my family, it's only 30-50 minutes but my mom and I are best friends. I would love to live closer but my current job kind of dictates where we move. DH works all over the place with his dad so it's not always an issue.

I feel like I'm at a crossroads and I don't know what to do about the future. I know I will have to work at least part-time due to me having to have insurance benefits since DH is classified as self-employed. I just don't know what to do. I don't like my job and want to do something different. I really don't want to go back to school because that means a cut in our pay.
We do know that we would like to TTC next fall so at least we have an idea for that

Any advice would be appreciated!